It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
