You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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