I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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