Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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