Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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