Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
