the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
