Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
