WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
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how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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