I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
