Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
