i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
