dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
