The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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