i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
