I'm jealous of your bromance
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
