my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
