I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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