I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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