I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Still dying that you shit outside
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize