Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
