Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
