she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
