just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
