I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
