It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
