She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just puked most of my soul out..
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
