Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
