I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
