I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
