I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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