I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
