watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize