I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Randomize