Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She needs sedatives and a leash
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
