im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
