It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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