You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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