you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
