i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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