I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I checked into jail on foursquare
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
