my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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