Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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