I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
