do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
