Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
As shirtless as possible
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
