Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
