I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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