it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
