Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
