i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
