yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
