But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just had sex bonerless
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize