apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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