I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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