i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
