video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
