i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
