I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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