his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
