i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I love you.
Bad choice
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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