My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
